Diary of a Sad Painter
My quest to redo my kitchen is nearly finish.
The goal is in sight. After exposing the brick wall;
putting in new counters and a sink;
rearranging, building, and upgrading the cabinetry (complete with crown molding);
fixing walls and adding a board and batten treatment; putting in a new floor and building a bar area behind the peninsula;
planking the ceiling and making my own chandelier,
I am finally down to the easy task of painting.
I can’t wait to see my final kitchen.
It’s going to be awesome.
I finished smoothing out the walls and put the new color on the upper wall section. I also painted the little section of board and batten by the brick wall so I could build the open shelves. Oh, the joy! I can’t wait to get the rest of the paint done in the kitchen. I am inspired!
I’ve finished priming the board and batten on the window wall. Wow! That’s a LOT of work. All those edges and inside corners that like to collect drips. I don’t remember it taking me so long to paint the last section of board and batten. That seemed to go pretty fast. Granted, that was months ago and I had a lot of work to do before I could get to this part of the wall.
Maybe, I was so excited to see the paint I don’t remember how hard it was. Well, at any rate, it’s looking good and even with just the primer on it makes such a difference to the kitchen. It’s starting to look like a real kitchen! I’m ready to get the real paint on here.
I spent all day painting the board and batten on the window wall. I need to finish it up before I can paint the cabinets. How can one section of wall take all. day. long. to paint? Granted, there are a million places for paint to collect and drip. I will just continue to take my time and do it right. Sonofa…
How did I miss this? Looks like I will be sanding and doing some touch ups. That’s okay, I will keep moving forward. I can come back and do touch ups later.
I may have caused permanent damage to my olfactory neurons as I am incapable of smelling the paint fumes that permeate throughout my home. The boys have taken to barricading themselves in their upstairs rooms to avoid the smell.
Unfortunately, Brutus has decided to test the theory of my damaged sniffer by dropping fart bombs in the kitchen whilst I paint.
The part of my nose capable of smelling really, REALLY bad dog farts is still intact. Good to know, but I fear for my new paint. I hope the stench does not cause the paint to peel. Oh, man…BRUTUS!
My eyes are watering. Quick. Open the window. HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL! CloseTheWindow CloseTheWindow CloseTheWindow! Do you know how cold it is out there? It’s 13° out there. In March. There is snow coming down. Big, fat, fluffy, It’s-Beginning-To-Look-A-Lot-Like-Christmas type snowflakes.
The fumes must have also fried my brain cells, to think it’s warm enough to open the window. Sure, the calendar says Spring, but your thermostat tells a different story.
I live the glamorous life, no?
My spirit is breaking. When will this end? Like Sisyphus, I am bound to a Hell of endlessly painting the same horrible areas over and over and over again.
So much for buying the more expensive paint. It’s thickness alone had fooled me into believing it had good coverage. Three layers later, I now know differently.
Today Hubs learned that statements like, “What’s taking you so long to paint?” “It’s just painting. How hard can it be?” and, my personal favorite, “Just get it done!,” make him very glad he is living 1,300 miles away from home. I may have threatened to junk-punch him, right after I judo-chopped him in the throat. I may have mentally followed through with my threat.
Next time, he can be the one to spend four days on his back painting the underside of this stupid shelf. “What’s taking you so long?” *Punch, chop, Hi-YAY!*
The ceiling mocks me. It taunts me with its primer and paint sample finish.
It’s cruelty knows no bounds. Today, it reminded me of all the cut-work joy still ahead of me.
“Stop mocking me, Ceiling!”
*Runs to bedroom, throws self on bed and screams into pillow.*
I have enlisted the help of the boys in preparing the cabinet doors and drawer fronts. And by “enlist” I mean, offer to pay them for the work. And by “pay” I mean, “Get your butt down here and sand these Effingham cupboard doors before I start taking away privileges…like your life!”
I wised up and bought new primer and tinted it to match my cabinet colors. Consequently, I have finally finished the base cabinets and the drawer fronts. From this angle, I can almost convince myself that the painting is all done.
Sadly, the unfinished doors are jeering at me from their perch in the dining room. Is there no end to this madness?
Not all green tape is created equally. Oh, sure, some will try to fool you with their green color and deliberately misspelled names and make you think they have magical properties to stop paint from bleeding. They lie.
Furthermore, not all brands of blue tape peel off as cleanly as it should. There are words to describe how I feel about both of these problems, but I’m too Mormon to use them. In print.
*Words uttered in my head or in the privacy of my own home when no one is around to hear me cannot be held against me or as a basis to judge the extent of my Mormon-ness.
Let’s just say that if I could create a stink bomb comprised of paint fumes and Brutus farts, I would send one to each and every bad tape manufacturer out there. Probably more than once.
I still have nineteen cabinet doors that need one coat of primer and at least two coats of paint, upper cabinets that need two coats of paint, and a ceiling that will hopefully only require one coat of paint but will probably actually need two because that seems to be how things are going for me these days. Still, I am taking the day off.
I know, I know! There are endless touchups. End. Less. But today I’m going to bask in what IS done.
The shelf is up. Yes, it needs touch ups. Gosh! Let me have my minute. I now have a spot for my spices and I love seeing some of my tchotchkes.
In spite of my kid sanding off the numbers I wrote on the back of the drawer fronts, I still managed to get them all back where they belong and the new handles installed. This spot right here? I officially declare this spot in my kitchen as done! Woo Hoo!
The rest of the kitchen…not so much, but tomorrow is another day and I’ll be back to the grindstone once more, painting and painting and painting….